


Fantasies

by Amie33



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:35:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amie33/pseuds/Amie33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt has lots of fantasies about Alex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fantasies

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Courtney. I'm sorry I took so long to write that fic. I hope you'll enjoy ;)  
> Thanks to Jenn for the beta.  
> And sorry for the obvious lack of imagination for the title...

Matt has lots of fantasies about Alex. He just has to look at her and his brain immediately disconnects from reality. It’s not his fault really; have you ever looked at the woman? This amazing, gorgeous, bloody hot woman?

He knows he shouldn’t think of her this way. She’s his colleague; moreover, she’s his friend. It would be highly embarrassing if she discovers any of his thoughts. She would never want to speak to him again. He would never be able to look at her again. It would be a shame; he _loves_ looking at her. More than he should, really.

The days when she’s on set are the best. He can look at her, speak to her and flirt with her. They flirt _a lot_ , which doesn’t help him stopping his inappropriate thoughts. It doesn’t help either when she touches his arm in support, or kisses his cheek to say hello, or throws her head back as she laughs and he can see the muscles of her throat quivering. He has to close his eyes then and forgets he wants to drag his teeth along that tantalizing neck to taste her skin.

As a consequence, the days she’s on set are also the worst. He can look at her, speak to her and flirt with her but that’s all. He can’t have what he really wants from her, so he has to restrain himself for hours and stops his body from reacting against his will. Sometimes he’s afraid that he’s going to forget he’s not in a dream and he’s going to jump on her and snog her senseless. Fortunately, it hasn’t happened yet.

The days pass very fast, and he barely realizes he’s shooting between the few moments he can be with her. But at the same time the days pass very slow, and he has to wait to be back home to release the tension he has been feeling since the first second he has laid eyes on her. It’s even more difficult when they spend the night together, having a drink or dinner with the rest of the crew. Some days he doesn’t know how he survives the frustration.

The fantasies started the first day they met. They were reading the script of their first episode with the whole crew, and he made the silly mistake to propose a change. “Why wouldn’t River land on top of the Doctor?” Everybody found this was a brilliant idea, even Moffat who was highly excited about his proposition. A few seconds and the change was done - and Matt’s fate was sealed.

From the moment she fell on him, again and again that day, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Sometimes he simply changes in his mind the scenes they have shot during the day. He likes to imagine what the Doctor and River should have done, and what it would feel like to play their naughty moments together. For that first scene for instance, he likes to imagine that Amy isn’t there. The Doctor doesn’t act awkwardly, welcoming River with a smile and knowing exactly what to do with his hands. Before she can realize where she is, he grabs the back of her neck to kiss her none too gently. He nips her lips and licks at the roof of her mouth hungrily, squeezing her arse at the same time. She responds instantly, biting him back and rolling her hips against him.

He holds her close, his arms keeping her in place as she fights to free herself from his embrace. There’s a lot of friction involved as they struggle, still kissing with passion. He loosens his grip on her, exploring more of her body and they roll on the floor. At some point they lose their clothes, or they more likely tear them apart until they are skin against skin. It feels good to have her with him, moaning and writhing against him while her nails scratch his skin and her teeth dig into his flesh.

He has thought about this scene more than once and it’s still one of his favorites. Sometimes he imagines her on top, sometimes it’s him, but it doesn’t really matter because it always ends up the same: he’s inside of her, finally. She’s perfectly wet and tight, clenching around him. The fantasy never lasts long when he reaches that moment. Everything is a bit messy, a mix of moans and sweaty skin against sweaty skin, until they both reach a powerful climax, chanting each other’s name. Sometimes in his mind it’s not even the Doctor and River anymore, and he ends with Alex’s name on his lips.

He likes those fantasies because he has the excuse of the show, and he still can pretend it’s only research, character development. He shouldn’t be bothering with such an excuse, because of course he doesn’t tell anyone what he’s thinking about when he finds himself alone at night. It’s just an excuse he makes for himself, so he can keep building those scenarios in his head without feeling too guilty. And he has lots of scenarios about their characters. Despite the fact that it’s a family show, Steven manages to place lots of puns and there is no doubt the sex life of River and the Doctor is hot. And kinky.

The first kink he thought about was the one about the handcuffs. The way Alex said that line in their first episode together, the look she gave him... No, the look _River_ gave _the Doctor_. It was full of unsaid words, and surely full of memories. It didn’t take much for Matt to fill the blanks and imagine what kind of use they make of those handcuffs. Sometimes it’s her who’s restrained, sometimes it’s him. Sometimes they are in a bedroom, sometimes in other places like the console room, or her cell in Stormcage. It’s often hot and he likes to believe that, after those sexy sessions, they don’t only wear the marks of the cuffs on their skin but also hickeys and bites and scratches.

And of course there are all the others kinks, and the list keeps growing bigger each episode River appears. With the handcuffs was the sonic screwdriver - this one gave Matt lots of sleepless nights. For weeks he couldn’t stop imagining the object between his hands, vibrating as he would explore River’s body with it. She would arch when he lingered on her nipples, tracing their shape until she would ask him to move. He would tease her for hours, getting close to where she would want him to be but never reaching the right place. She would gasp his name, she would let out long moans, she would writhe restlessly under his touch before he would give in. The moment he would finally dip the screwdriver inside of her would be the best. She would grip the sheet or close her hands around his arm, her hips would buck off the bed, reaching for more, and she would let out a long moan, her face in a wince of pleasure. Yes, like that. He has watched some of Alex’s movies and he knows exactly how she would look like. He would play with the settings, her groans would grow louder, her grasp would be more painful on his arm, and it would all end in a big shout of his name, her body shaking as the orgasm would wash over her. He’s sure he would be following her. He doesn’t see how it could be possible to resist such a sight. He just thinks about it and he can't, his imagination surely far from the truth.

Some days he adds blindfolds. Or gags. The Doctor is a few hundred years old, almost a thousand, and River - well, nobody really knows what River is and how old she is, but surely neither of them should be afraid of a little fun. Matt is absolutely convinced this is far from what they can do - they have seen all of time and space, lots of different species and customs, there must know lots of things he can’t even imagine.

He doesn’t seem to be the only one to have those naughty thoughts about his character and his so wonderful wife; he has already heard that some fans wanted a special adult episode, like maybe the details of their honeymoon. By the time they shoot the episode of the wedding, Matt’s list of fantasies is already fairly long, and the fact that their characters get married only convinced him more that their private lives don’t only consist in talking about maths and physics (or maybe, another kind of physics that doesn’t involve a lot of talking but a lot of acting).

Steven doesn’t prove him - and the other eager fans - right, but he doesn’t prove them wrong either. In lieu of a honeymoon, he writes those mini episodes, that are all timey-wimey and contain so many materials for his sexy dreams it is difficult to list them all. In the first minute only the Doctor already proposes River to undress, and of course she reacts with a little more flirting. Then there’s another River, more flirty and pretending to be dead in an attempt to have his hands on her. She even talks about spanking and Matt almost slipped his whole tea on himself just reading the script. Alex’s bum is one of the most fantastic bottom he knows, and he doesn’t understand how he didn’t even think of the spanking kink before. And then a third River appears with a dress that should be illegal in half of the universe, and a second Doctor, and really _the mind races_. The quote is the perfect description of his mind about those episodes. Two Doctor-s and three River-s in the Tardis at the same time, who knows what could have happened if they had stayed together? It would be more than a threesome obviously, but different from a simple orgy because it would be only two people, but at different time of their lives, with different knowledge but the same bodies and the same desires, and the result would be... Matt believes only a Time Lord and a Human plus Time Lady would be able to handle that.

This is when he realizes that thinking of the Doctor and River is too much - and at the same time it’s not enough. What he imagines between the characters is never going to happen; the first reason is the fact that they are fictional, the second reason is, even if Alex and he give life to them, they are never going to be in those situations. Familial show. If Steven gives clues about the Time Lord’s sexual life, he won’t ever actually show it, so Matt won’t ever be able to play it. Anyway, this is not what he wants. He doesn’t dream for playing, he wants something real. Not he as the Doctor and Alex as River. He wants _her_ , the real her, for something concrete.

The desire he felt when he met her has turned into something different. There’s still physical attraction, and lust, but not only those. So his mind wanders onto other dreams, forgetting all about the excuses of their characters. In those one he isn’t the Doctor and she isn’t River. She is Alex, and he is Matt. It is about their lives, and the possibility of them being together.

His first question is, how is it going to happen? Will he find the nerves to tell her his inappropriate feelings? Maybe he could ask her out for dinner - as a date, a proper date. He could chose a nice place, calm and intimate, discreet, a place where they wouldn’t be bothered by fans or curious waiters. A place where the food would be delicious and he would stare at her mouth while she would eat, the movements of her lips as she chew and the delicate trembling of her throat as she swallowed. She would moan, enjoying the meal, and he would have to stop himself from thinking of other sounds she could make. Maybe she would notice, but she wouldn’t say anything.

It would be a nice date. They would chat and he would make her laugh. They would feel comfortable with each other, and maybe they would share light touches that would make his skin jump - and hers too. She would blush a bit and he would be able to feel her heartbeat being faster. He would open his mouth, about to say something, but a waiter would interrupt him, and Alex’s hand would let go of his as they would be brought another plate.

The great moment would have to wait until they would have finished their meal and would step out. Matt would hold his arm out and she would take it with a smile. They would walk for a while, talking at first before the words would leave them. They would finish the last steps in silence, just enjoying being together. He would glance at her and she would be lost in her thoughts, tormenting her bottom lip. She would only look up when they arrive at her front door.

“Matt...” she would say, and then stop. He wouldn’t be able to resist her any longer and would have cut her off, cupping her cheeks and kissing her lips. She would freeze at first, his movement unexpected, but then she would relax and respond. Her hands would clench tightly on his shirt as she would press closer. It would be perfect.

Except he knows that, even if this fantasy _could_ become real, if he had the nerve to ask her out and if everything went well, it will _never_ happen. There is no way he can ever find the courage to look at her in the eyes and invite her for dinner knowing everything he has already thought about her. He will only blush a bright red and she will know - oh yes, she will understand what kind of thoughts he has and what he really imagines when he is alone in his bed and thinking about her. This will ruin everything. It’s easier to keep flirting with her and pretend it’s just a game.

So he invents other scenarios. They end with the kissing too, but it’s less sophisticated, and more inadvertent. Like, she trips and falls on him - or more likely, _he_ trips and falls on her. Or she leans in to kiss him goodbye on the cheek and he turns his head at the last moment and their lips unintentionally meet (or so she believes). Or he saves her life and she has no choice but realize how she needs him in her life. This scenario he likes. The moment the idea pops up into his mind he has the whole scene sets.

It’s late at night. They have been filming whole day long and he’s knackered. He crossed the car park, head down and hands on his pocket, wanting nothing but to come home and sleep. He’s reaching for the door of his own car when what sounds like a scream interrupts his movement. He frowns, looking up and scanning the car park; there are only a few cars left, his own, and he can also see some of the crew members’. Most of the shooting team is still packing, and there’s also Steven’s car in the corner, and Alex’s...

And there’s another scream, and Alex’s car is still here, and it does sound like her voice.

Matt’s blood rushes in his veins and he’s sure now, this is her voice. He abandons his car, almost running in the car park to where he thinks the shouts come from, scanning around him. He calls Alex’s name, trying to hide the panic that slowly grows inside of him without great success.

He keeps running, but he’s almost at the end of the car park and he hasn’t heard her voice for - it seems to be ages, but maybe it’s just a few seconds, how can he know? How can he thinks clearly when he has just heard Alex’s screaming what was a real scream of panic? Something bad is happening, and he rejects all the scenarios that press in his mind. No, it can’t be something bad. It can’t because this is Alex and he cares about her more than he can admit and if she’s... No, he won’t forgive himself.

Matt reaches the end of the car park, looking right and left, hesitating what to do and where to go, calling her name louder when Alex screams again - there is no doubt left, it’s her.

He doesn’t realize he is running again, turning around the building they shoot until some alley he has never spotted before. It’s just a narrow street where they put the bins and all the things they don’t use anymore, or so he guesses. It’s exactly what you usually see in movies - dark and dirty alleys with bins and old stuff and crates. The kind of place when the victims are raped, tortured, murdered... The alley the bad guys use to run away. It’s all too cliché, but it’s not _real_ , it’s just his fantasy, and he is also aware that not only the alley but his _whole_ scenario is cliché.

Alex is here, trapped by two guys that are obviously not friendly. One is holding her while the second is rummaging in her purse. She is crying, her hair a awful mess, she has lost one of her shoes and he can see some blood at the corner of her mouth.

Matt’s heart skips a beat.

The next thing he knows, he’s rushing the two guys, and despite the fact that they seem to be far bigger and stronger than him, punches the first he approaches. A fight begins between them, when he hits and is hit, not really realizing what’s happening. Alex screams again, and he’s not sure if it’s because she’s surprised to see him or if she’s afraid he’s going to get killed by her attackers - which he begins to worry about too.

After what looks like an eternity, he realized it was maybe a bad idea to fight to two people who are obviously betterl-trained than him. He somehow managed to hit what seems like a nose and is rewarded by a deep growling as blood stains his hand. He doesn’t have time to enjoy this little victory before something hurts his stomach and all air is stuck out of his lungs. The pain is too much he can stand and he falls on the ground, coughing and tears streaming down his cheeks. He prepares himself to be punched one more time but instead he can hear the men swearing, and then they’re gone.

“Oh my god, Matt are you okay?”

Hands pressed against his cheeks as he still fights to breathe. He manages to open an eye (the other somehow seems to have double or maybe triple sized) and forces a smile. He may feel bad, and all his muscles hurt, but Alex is safe, looking at him through teary eyes - he has just saved her. She seems okay but mascara that has run down her cheeks and shock still shows up in her eyes - she doesn’t look hurt except for the fear of the aggression. Despite his condition, he feels happy she’s okay; all his pain worth it.

“Yeah. Don’t worry. I’m okay.”

“You don’t look so okay.”

She brushes his hair and he winces. Every bit of skin she touches seems to hurt.

“Why did you do that?” she whispers softly, “it was silly.”

“They were hurting you.”

“They could have killed you.”

Her palm stills on his cheek and he mimes her action, his own hand reaching for her face and wiping her last tears.

“They were hurting you,” he murmurs again. The reason was enough for him. He didn’t think. He should have maybe, but he couldn’t. Seeing her like that woke something in him he couldn’t fight... He couldn’t stay there and watch without doing anything. Maybe he should have run back in the building and found someone to help him, but she was in danger and what _he_ could risk didn’t cross his mind.

“Thank you.” She bends her head, blushing and he finds her beautiful. Even after being attacked she looks wonderful. “You saved me. Thank you.”

He tilts her chin up. New tears are filling her eyes and he guesses it must be the aftershock. “I was so afraid. I screamed but nobody could hear me and they... I couldn’t do anything. I was so afraid...”

“It’s okay now. I’m here.”

She smiles between the cries. “I know. Thank you.”

They don’t move for a moment, fingers stroking each other’s skin, slowly comforting. And then, before he can blink, she leans into him and presses her lips against his. The kiss is gentle and slow, soothing after the pain and the fear.

Matt always stops the fantasy here. Whatever comes after, it can’t be better than this kiss. He wants to keep it as perfect as it seems.

x.

It’s late by now and Matt sighs, running a tired hand through his hair. The scenarios can work for a while, but when he comes back to reality he still finds himself alone and frustrated. He’s been thinking about Alex for years now and the situation is still the same. He sees her every now and then on the rare moments when she’s on set, and they play, and they laugh, and they flirt, and he still hasn’t found a way to tell her what he wants and how he feels. Every day ends the same, with him naked on his bed or on his couch with nothing but his hands and a vivid imagination.

He’s pathetic. Pathetic and still hard. He’s not sure what’s worse.

“Matt, sorry darling I know it’s late but do you think you could...”

Okay. This is the worst and nothing can beat that. He is naked on his couch with nothing but his hands and a vivid imagination - and Alex staring at him open-mouthed, the door of his flat still half opened.

For a second neither of them move. Matt doubts he could ever move again after that. This is one of the most embarrassing moment of his whole life. He wants nothing but the earth to open and swallow him.

“Alex, I...”

He begins but trails off, because he has nothing to say. There is no word to explain what he was doing, and he’s sure she has fully understood. Telling her he was thinking at her at the same time wouldn’t help him.

And then Alex does something he couldn’t have expected. She doesn’t apologize, she doesn’t blush, she doesn’t rush out of his room and pretend she hasn’t seen anything. She doesn’t seem to feel embarrassed or sorry. Not at all. Instead her eyes darken and she closes then locks the door of his flat, never taking her eyes off of him.

Matt gulps.

“Don’t move,” she orders him, the tone of her voice demanding. He does as he’s told, and he doesn’t dare breath as she moves toward him - he’s not sure he even can. She is quickly peeling her clothes off while he stares at her open-mouthed. She kicks off her shoes first, shimmies off her shorts and knickers, before taking off her jumper and throwing it behind her. In a few seconds she is naked, standing a few inches from his couch. His mind seems to have stopped working and his eyes are glued to her, not knowing where to look at first.

He can’t believe this is happening.

“Look at you,” she purrs, and at this moment he realizes she’s staring at him the same way he’s staring at her, with dark eyes filled with lust and desire. Except that while he still wonders if he should run away and try to forget everything that is happening, she only shows determination. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.”

For the second time in less than a minute Matt freezes - what does she mean? Could have she been dreaming about him as he has about her? Why didn’t she tell him anything? Has he been painfully aching for her all this time when he could have just ask and have her? Were all those fantasies for nothing?

He can’t think about what could have happened and what didn’t, because the next second Alex sits on the couch and straddles his waist. Matt’s hands move against his will, gripping her thighs and stroking her skin, finally real after all this time imagining how it can feel. She is soft and warm, and he can feel her muscles quivering slightly upon him in excitement. He is also very aware of another warmth coming from her crotch, where she’s already wet and ready for him. And if he has any doubt, they are chased away when she rolls her hips, biting her lips and somehow still moaning loudly - and he’s not even inside of her yet.

“What are you doing?” he manages to breathe out, even if the question is useless. Maybe this is the last piece of his brain still working that tries to stop him - there are so many reasons why they shouldn’t do that he would be able to write hundred pages - but his body has already made his choice and he knows it’s too late to stop. His hands are busy exploring her body - thighs, arse, stomach, back, and slowly reaching for what look like the most perfect breasts he knows. Every single of his cells ache for her. He needs to touch her, to kiss her, to taste her, to have her press against him and never let her go.

He doesn’t have to wait. “Taking what I want,” she replies to his already forgotten question. She bends down and captures his lips in an eager kiss. Her tongue stroke inside his mouth and her teeth bite his skin and he can’t help but moan, his hips bucking against her, wanting more. His arms snap around her, pressing her closer - the closest he can but he’s not sure she would ever be close enough. She grip his shoulders tightly, her nails digging into his skin as she drags them down slowly, across his chest, over his ribs, then back up to his neck. He’s going to be covered with scratches in the morning but right now he doesn’t care.

His sense of time is completely lost, and it feels like it’s been only a second when Alex breaks the kiss. He tries to get her back against him but she doesn’t let him, and he realizes that tonight he’s clearly not the one in charge - she is, and he can’t say that he dislike it. He can’t resist her, and she’s even more irresistible now, panting slightly, her lips red after his previous ministrations, her hair wild around her. She looks like some primitive goddess and he will do whatever she wants to make her happy.

“Whatever I want?” she says, and he realises he must have said the last bit aloud.

“Whatever you want,” he repeats the words. He really thinks them. Right now, he could do anything for her.

She grins at him, tilting her head while her tongue traces the shape of her lips, slowly, maddeningly. And then suddenly she lifts herself up off of him. He hisses at the lack of contact, the air of the room cool on him after the warm pressure of her skin.

He doesn’t have the time to complain about the cold very long though, because Alex is crawling upon him. She stops a first time, her face a few inches from his. Her tongue darts out quickling, licking his lips while she moans. But the next second she’s gone, crawling again, and Matt reaches his hand out, stroking her skin while her whole body passes in front of his eyes. He thinks he’s never had admired such a view before. Pale neck, flushed and full breasts, sharp ribs, flat stomach, curvy hips, lower...

She stops then, her legs each side of his head and Matt licks in lips in anticipation as she lowers herself against him. His breath catches in his throat and time seems to almost stop as he watches her coming closer and closer. He can’t believe what’s happening. But after what feels like hours, he has to face the truth : Alex Kingston is sitting on his face.

He blinks a few times in surprise, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to think. She’s right in front of him and he’s surrounded by overwhelming sensations that freezes his brain. The pressure of her body against skin, the sight of her sex, inviting and already glistening, the harsh smell of her arousal hitting his nostrils, the sound of her breathing ringing into his ears - it takes him a few seconds to embrace it all and realise he has to do something.

He looks up, only to find Alex looking down at him patiently, still grinning, her eyes darker than ever.

“Show me what you can do.”

He doesn’t need another invitation. He sticks his tongue out, eager to taste her and to know if reality - because this is real, isn’t it? - is better than what he has imagined. He isn’t disappointed. The moment his tongue comes in contact with her flesh, he realises all his fantasies were pale and tasteless compared with what he has now. Alex moans almost instantly, her hand tugging at his hair to press him closer. His nose hits her clit and she jumps at the contact, gripping his hair almost painfully but he doesn’t mind. He’s lost in her, tasting her, biting her, stroking her, lapping at her while she writhes upon him and her cries grew louder. He’s not sure he can breathe again, but he’s too focused on taking care of her to pay attention.

It’s not long before he feels her tense, her nails digging into his scalp, her muscles fluttering madly against his tongue. He reaches out for her clit then, sucking hard on it and the next second she’s trembling all around him, screaming his name (or so he thinks, but he can’t really be sure).

He keeps licking at her until she finally pulls back, sitting on his stomach this time, resting her trembling hands on his chest for support. He stares at her while they both try to catch their breath back. She’s wonderful, her skin flushed and a satisfied smile on her lips. Post-bliss Alex is definitely one of the best thing he has ever known in his life.

But as far as he wants to feel smug about it, being undoubtedly the reason of her delight, the pain he feels for her is almost unbearable. He’s not sure he can wait for her to recover. His neglected cock is painfully looking for some kind of release and he can’t help it, bucking his hips, brushing her arse in the process. She seems to get the hint, winking cheekily at him before rolling her hips against him. He groans, not sure he can handle more teasing.

“Alex...”

She takes pity of him, reaching between their bodies. He gasps when her hands come in contact with his cock. His member twitches as she begins to stroke him purposefully and he closes his eyes, losing himself in the sensations. He’s so hard already she doesn’t need more than a few movements before he comes into her hands, swearing.

She gives a quick peck on his lip and lies down next to him as he catches his breath, snuggling against him. His arms wraps automatically around her to press her closer, all the tension he has felt for years suddenly disappeared.

As he closes his eyes, he realises he doesn’t know if this is true, if he is really falling asleep with Alex in his arms after a great shag, or if it’s just another of his fantasies, strong and vivid in his mind. He doesn’t know, but right now, he doesn’t care.

 

_the end_


End file.
